Pink Frosting & Sprinkles

Yesterday was a good day.  It's not very often that I feel confident saying that.  I'm not a confident momma or housewife - but yesterday was a good day.  

Normally, my days home go something like this:  

~Get up after restarting videos a few times and trying to get some more sleep while Kenzie watches them (or more often lately, turning the xbox off and on and taking videos out of the boxes and trying to start different ones.... it's annoying)
~Laze around... let Kenzie watch more videos (I'm bad, lemme tell ya) and read my kindle or play a silly game on my phone
~Some more putzing around the house knowing I need to do something, but don't feel like it, so I don't.
~Lunchtime - make something for the kid and maybe for me - not always very healthy
~Laze around some more during naptime
~Crap, it's almost time for Drew to get off work.... scramble around trying to do something so it looks like I wasn't Miss Lazypants all day - but he usually sees through that.  Luckily for me, he doesn't nag me much about it.
~Dinner
~Laze around, trying to pass time till Kenzie's bedtime

You get the picture.  A whole lot of laziness.  I hate it - it makes me hate myself and feel awful - like Kenzie deserves a much better momma who does fun stuff with her instead of putting her in front of the tv.  Most times though, she doesn't pay much attention to the tv and plays with toys or gets into stuff she shouldn't.  Causing me to get super frustrated with her and feel even worse.

Yesterday, however, was a different story - for the most part.  It started out almost the same - but then I realized what time it was and that I made plans the night before to do a play date with a friend and her daughter.  The plan was to walk from our apartment to her house - it didn't seem like it would be that far - I could handle that!  Plus, it would get us out of the house and doing something fun.  Making memories!

SO, I got dressed (in sweatpants & tank), threw my hair up for the walk, pulled on my tennis shoes (I hate having my feet constricted... normally I'm in flip flops hehe) and got Kenzie dressed.  Then I pulled out the stroller, gathered our things and set off.  That whole thought about the walk not being so bad?  Yeah, I must have miscalculated somewhere!  I let the husband take the car so he could go to the hospital for his weekly allergy shot.  Thought the walk would be good for me and get some good exercise in.  

Oh. My. Gosh.  

First off, I walked down a road that has sidewalk till just past our apartment - after that, it's all road, baby.  It was semi-busy - so cars had to make a decent arc around us.  It was windy.  I was sneezing because of the wind and the fact that all the allergens were never killed off because of our mild winter last year.  I hadn't worked out in a couple weeks because of my shin splints.  And it was further than I estimated.  It only took about 30 to 45 min to walk, but being out of shape like I am, it about killed me.  I got to my friends and decided to text Drew to see if he could pick us up from the park before he took lunch so I didn't have to walk home.  LOL... I'm such a wimp.

BUT, it was good.  Got us up and out of the house.  Kenzie got some time to play with a friend.  I got some adult conversation.  I didn't feel trapped like I did last time I let Drew take the car.  (That was a bad day...)  So, all in all, that started off the day wonderfully!  PLUS, it wore Kenzie out and she took one of her best naps ever!  Like, 3 hours!

We had lunch - bagel bites - not healthy, but not bad either.  At least I'm not eating out every day... the scale is liking that!  So, yeah, nap time was awesome.  I had some good "mommy time" to blog and mess around on the computer.  I didn't get much done like I was planning, but it was good regardless.  Before Kenzie woke up, though, I went ahead and started cleaning up the kitchen.  That was a disaster zone.  Seriously.  Gross.  I was ashamed.  ;-)  Kenzie woke up before I had finished and helped herself to pulling out all the dvds.  Really, kid??

Drew's birthday cake 2011

Got the kitchen clean, counters, FLOOR (hallelujah!) swept AND mopped, AND I baked a cake!  My apartment smelled goooooood, lemme tell ya!  The cake mix was leftover from Drew's birthday last year when I attempted to do a layered strawberry cake.  First attempt was fail (I didn't grease the pan enough, so it stuck really bad when I went to plop it out to cool), so I got 2 extra boxes, just in case I failed again.  Tuesday, I stopped by Target and got some frosting.  Pink.  I like pink and sprinkles and thought a pretty pink cake would cheer anyone up.  

I also made stir-fry... by MYSELF.  Cooking is not something I brag about... I'm not that good at it and I'm not confident.  But, I put all that aside and did it anyway.  And it was GOOD.  It was healthy... kinda.  And I have the rest for lunch today!  Then, after the kid went to bed, I had a piece of cake.  Oh. my. gosh.  It was amazing. 

Perfect end to the evening!

Oh my word, shove a sock in my mouth and shut me up.  I could talk for ages.  I just had to share.  It's not every day that I feel really good about myself and my abilities.  And oh yeah, while the cake was baking, I put up another decoration.  It says "home."  I need to snap a pic and post it.  But, in the meantime... here's some cake.  ;-)

Perfect and spongy and moist - Yum!

xoxo

In a funk..

Have you ever been in a funk where all you want to do is... NOTHING?  Right now, I'm so overwhelmed with, well, life, that I can't even begin to think about doing anything.  Everything is making me go nuts - Mackenzie seems to be whining more than usual, the apartment looks even messier, my allergies are killing me, I feel trapped in this small apartment and I'm car-less today.  

I don't want this blog to be a whine-fest, but sometimes a girl's just gotta be real.  Ya know?  And currently, I want to pull my hair out!  I am thinking I should call up my doctor to see about switching my "happy pills."  Yes folks, I take anti-depressants.  I'm not afraid to admit it.  I've dealt with depression since 1996 and there's only one word for it.  It SUCKS.  And frankly, I don't think this wellbutrin is doing it's job.  So, please forgive me as I whine for a couple minutes.  Time for blog therapy!

In all reality, it's not that bad.  I am blessed beyond belief.  Our house sold in TWO WEEKS.  We have a wonderful little group of friends.  We are healthy and have wonderful families.  And we are going on a road trip to Columbus, Ohio tomorrow to see my wonderful sister-in-law and her husband!  I'm going with my in-laws on their trip to pick up a new great Pyrenees puppy!  So, yeah, life isn't horrible.  

I just look around the apartment, see everything strewn everywhere, and I freak.  I'm overwhelmed.  To-do lists are thrown out the window and full freak-out session is commenced.  I snap, I yell, I pout... it's not a pretty picture.  Then I play on Pinterest for a while to take part in a link-up and I see all these pretty things.  Pretty things that I want, but can't afford because, hellooo, we have a good chunk of debt to pay off and the budget is screaming NOOOO at me.  

I know, I know... take it one small area at a time.  I've heard it, I've preached it, but holy smokes, is it hard to live it!  So, my "plan" for the day is to take it easy, put my blinders on, get a shower (maybe a nice fresh feel will do a girl good) & eat a little something.  Then I gots to get the kitchen cleaned up and perhaps I'll work on organizing the office closet.

Whine-fest over.  For now.  ;-)

xoxo